October 11, 2010

Ok Lord, I need to start writing regularly again. I miss it and I miss You, too. I know You are still there...I know You are protecting me...I know You are providing for me. I also know that it is me that hasn't been in contact with You as much as I should have been. I haven't been communicating with You like I should...I am sorry. Help me know how to balance my new life here, Lord. It's not the same...living in someone else's house...I feel guilty for wanting my alone time...I want to write...I yearn for it, Lord; because I know that this is what You want me to do. I need my own space, Lord. I don't have that here.

Speak to me again, Lord. I miss hearing from You. I feel stuck...just between You and I...I am still not 100% sure this was the right move. It has been so hard to move back here to the island. It may be different when I have my own place and can entertain.

I love You, Lord and I do trust You! What I don't trust is our decisions - whether we make the right ones or not. Lord, give me confidence, help me to heep trusting and give me wisdom. Amen.

September 28th, 2010

Since I don't know where my other tablet that I do my thank diary in is, I am going to do it in this one tonight.

1. I thank You Lord for giving John 2 painting jobs so we can pay bills, etc. I know You are providing for us and I thank You for that. It makes me feel secure, loved and cared for that You provide for us like this.

2. I thank You for the beauty of the trees changing colors. I said the other day that I wished they were those colors all year long. But then, we would take them for granted. I love Your creativity. Thank You, Lord. May I not take Your beauty for granted.

3. I thank You for the gift of my sight. I love to look at the things You have made. I love to be able to see to read, bake, cross stitch and many other things. Thank You that I could watch my kids grow up and see their beauty first hand.

I love You, Lord!

September 12/10

Lord, help me find out who I am here on Campobello Island. The last year or so I found out who I was again. I had lost that. Lord, help me not to lose that again. Help me to find my "rhythm" here.

I love You, Lord. Help me not to only want to serve you when everything is going good. I know part of the Christian life is going through trials and tribulations. Help me to claim those promises too - not just the nice, comfortable promises in Your Word. Help me to "follow in Your steps" as it says in 1 Peter 2:21 (NIV). You suffered many trials and temptations and You left us an example to follow in how to handle them. Help me to follow Your example. Lord, I want to become more like You.

Thank You, Lord. Amen.

August 19th...

Again tonight the reading has to do with trusting. Lord, like with Abraham of old You have provided for us on this trip. When You provided the ram for the sacrifice instead of Isaac, Abraham named that placed "The Lord will provide". Thank You Lord that You have never stopped providing for Your children. I thank You that we trusted You for the finances for this trip and You provided them. Just like for Abraham, You provided them at the last minute; but Your timing is perfect and Your provision is perfect. I thank You Lord Jesus that we trusted You; but more than that, I want to ask You to help me to keep trusting You for our needs once we get to New Brunswick. Help me not to forget. I love You Lord. Amen.

July 28th, 2010 -

"But this has happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God" (2 Corinthians 1:9, NIV).

Dependence on You, Lord is not defeat; it is glorious! Help me, like a child, to be fully dependent on You, my heavenly Father. You want us to rely on...lean on...depend on...count on...bank on...YOU! For everything...in good times and bad times...

Help me to always be dependent on You, Lord for everything - no matter how big or small.

I love You Lord. I trust You to bring together what we need for this move and for our lives out in New Brunswick!

Amen

Better Things Yet To Come

July 23/10 -

Oh Lord, when I look at all the good things You have done while we have been with YFC Saskatoon , the young people who have come to know You, the friends we have made; and You are taking us out of the midst of it all. You must have something really amazing for us in New Brunswick!

I look back with happy memories of all that has been; but even better, I look forward to all that You have in store for us in New Brunswick!

I give You all the glory! Amen!

July 22, 2010

OK, Lord. What does this mean? I mean, I know what it means, but for which question or is it for something else altogether...Let me explain.

Tonights reading from Janette Oke's devotional book is about trust and expectation. Elizabeth is asking God for rain - God tellls her to be patient - she says that He knows she has never been patient - God tells her to trust Him then, that she has always been able to do that. So, she does - for two days and two nights - she is sure that God is going to send rain - as she is watering her vegetable garden, she noticed a cloud in the sky - from the east, not from where rain clouds usually form. She smiles and thinks that that is just like God, to do something out of the ordinary so you know it was God who did it. God did send rain...eventually - but not before the fire came - but her prayer was answered, just not in the time she thought it should be done in.

Now, I have asked You for things about this trip, Lord. I do trust You - about how we are going to get our stuff there and for a place to live after we get there. Sometimes Your answers are not what we expected or when we expected it (like this move to NB). Lord, help me to trust You - not only for the answers, but the timing of them as well. I know that Your timing is perfect, not mine, so help me to trust You in this...thank You, Lord.

"For your thoughts are not my thoughts; neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." Isaiah 55:8

"My soul, wait thou only on God; for my expectation is from him." Psalm 62:5

"My help cometh from the Lord." Psalm 121:2

"Take no thought for your life, what ye shall wear...Behold, the fowls of the air...your heavenly Father feedeth them." Matthew 6:25-26

Incredible!

July 20/10 - Incredible! Again I open my devotional book (Joni's), not knowing what it is going to be about. The title..."Resources For The Journey".

I know that the title means life's journey, but our journey to New Brunswick is part of my life's journey, so...

Am I asking the wrong questions, Lord? All I really need is You! You are the one Resource I really need for this move and for the rest of my life. God, go before me in this new and incredible journey. Show me the way, Lord. I don't need to know every little detail before it happens, Lord; not if You are guiding me. Lord, I want You to take control of my life and this move. I give it all to You! I don't need You to show me what to do; I need You to guide me and lead the way. I need to follow You. Help me to follow, Lord. If I follow You, then I will see the way You have for me. Thank You, Lord.


Just a side note. I have had that feeling again...You know...like the one I had before this whole thing began...like something was going to happen. Well, this time it is about a specific part of the journey...the house we are to live in. Today, I have had the feeling that we are supposed to live in one specific house on the island...Uncle Cecil's old house...it is one that we have been looking into...I just have the feeling that this is the house that God wants us to live in...I will keep you updated on it...

Two Thoughts

July 19th, 2010 - I have two thoughts - one from this mornings reading and one from tonights.

A question from this morning: Am I an engine or a motor?

Being a woman who knows very little about mechanical things, I thought the two were pretty much the same, until...this mornings devotional. June Masters Bacher's husband explained it quite well. It seems that a motor needs an external source of power to work, like a fan or a lamp needs to be plugged in to an electrical outlet. An engine doesn't need this.

So, am I an engine or a motor?

Lord, am I plugged into Your source of power? Where do I get my energy to run? Do I lean on You to guide me where I am to go or do I try to power myself and do it on my own?

Lord, help me to today to be plugged into You and Your source of power because without it I am just running on empty!



The other thought is a reminder. This is a favorite verse of mine and I keep getting reminded of it.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of PEACE, and not of evil."

I find it amazing how peaceful I am over this move. Even though all of the details are not worked out yet, I am not stressed out about it. I know that You want us to move to New Brunswick and that You know how it will happen, so why worry about it! You are the God of peace. It is a sin to worry. Thank You Lord that You have every detail of this move planned out. Help me to continue to trust You and not rely on humans for answers. Show me how You want this all to play out, Lord! Give me the faith to do what You show me.

I love You, Lord. Good-night!

July 15th, 2010

Good morning, Lord! It has been awhile since I have written to You. Even though I perfer to write to You rather than just talking to You, sometimes I find it hard to do what I would rather do. Then, it is hard to get back into it again. Forgive me, Lord.

A couple of nights ago I picked up Joni Eareckson's devotional book instead of the one I usually read. The bookmark I had in there told me where I had left off the last time I had used it, so I read that one. As usual, it was what I needed at the time. You were speaking to me again!

It talked about God bending us...shaping us...molding us...so He can use us to get the job He has for us to do done. Just like the eating utensil needs to be
bent and shaped into a different shape do Joni can use it in her arm splint to feed herself. If God didn't reshape us, he couldn't use us to fulfill His will for us either.

God, bend me...shape me...mold me into the woman that You can use to do Your will - whatever that is. Will it be painful? Probably. Will I like it? At the time, probably not. Will I like the outcome? If I truly surrender to Your will and let You work in and through my life, then yes, I will like the outcome.

Lord, I know this move to New Brunswick is one of these times that You want to reshape me into someone You can use there. Please help me be willing to be molded into whatever shape You have for me. "I want to do Your will, O my God."

I love You, Lord.

July 4, 2010 -

Another emotional day for me. Why is this so hard for me, Lord? Is it the leaving of friends or is it something deeper? Is it about what I talked to two friends from there about today? Am I truly nervous and scared about movingback there? There is a lot of emotional baggage for me there, Lord. I have dealt with how I see myself Lord; but have I honestly dealt with how people treated me back then. I don't know. It wasn't easy living there before and it is not going to be easy living there again. However, I think that one reason You are taking me back there is because I need to deal with more of my past. Lord, You are going to have to help me through this. I definitely can not do this on my own! Some people think that I am a very strong person. I do not see myself that way at all. I know I am a more confident person than I was, and if I am a strong person, it is because of You, Lord. My strength comes from You! Thank You for helping me. I am so glad that I can come to You for comfort - for strength - for healing. I love You Lord!


Thank You for the teens we have seen come to know You since coming here. I am going to miss them so much! I love them, Lord, like they are my own children. You called us to serve these teens in Saskatoon. Now You are calling us to serve teens in New Brunswick. Help me to remember that You have called us to Campobello Island to work for You. It amazes me sometimes how You use us humans to do Your work. Help me to be obedient to You and serve the people You want me to serve. Amen.

July 3/10 -

Wow! What a rollercoaster of emotions! I should have known that since I surrendered to Your will last night, that today would be like this. Satan sure doesn't want me to surrender to you!

This morning started off great - then only a half hour after I got up, it started! I got a phone call - about us living with my mom. At first I was dead set against the idea. But now I have resigned myself to the fact that we may need to - for awhile anyway. This all took place in the space of a few hours.

Lord, I know that all of the details will work out because I know that this is where You want us. Thank You for the peace that comes from surrendering to Your will. Help me to leave the details in Your hands. I am excited to watch the details unfold like they did when we moved from Hamilton to Caronport. Thank You Lord. Amen.

July 2/10 -

"Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press forward toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God." Philippians 3:13-14

OK Lord, I understand! You want me to move on. You want me to leave Saskatoon and the ministries here behind and You want me to look forward to New Brunswick and the ministries You have for me there. If I don't do this, I am not pressing towards the mark of Your calling on my life.

I want to be where You want me and to be doing what You have for me to do. So, if that means New Brunswick, so be it. I am ready for this new adventure and the challenges that go along with it.

I surrender to Your will, Lord. Take me to Campobello Island and use me to make a difference in the lives of the people there.

I love You, Lord!

Are you ready and willing to surrender to the will of God in your life, whatever that may be?

Thank You for speaking to my heart tonight, Lord. I am ready and willing to do this.

Is the Lord speaking to you today? Listen to what He has to say and be ready and be willing to obey His voice. Do you want the high calling of God on your life? Then be ready to do what He wants you to do. You won't be sorry!

July 1st, 2010 -

Well Lord, I am on my way back to Saskatoon. Montreal was beautiful! I enjoyed walking around seeing a little bit of it. The architecture there was so different and amazing! I really did enjoy lookig at it all the buildings. I did enjoy my time there and the conference, even though it was hard as well.

The conference was nice. It was good to see friends again, even though it was hard to say good-bye to them. Many of them feel like family now, Lord. Maybe that was why it was so hard to say good-bye!

Most of the messages this week felt like they were just for me. Like the speaker knew what I was going through. That made it hard as well. A couple of people even mentioned to me that they thought the messages targeted what we are going through right now. Even though it was hard, at the same time it was good. I know we are doing the right thing and I know that I will be alright once I get there. It is the process that is hard, Lord. But I know that You are there with me - going through every little detail with me - and that helps. Help me to lean on You for strength to do this, Lord; because I can't do this on my own. Thank You, Lord.

June 30/10

Ok Lord, I thought you and I had conquered my problem with this move on Sunday; however, yesterday it sure didn't seem that way. I really don't know how to describe yesterday, except that I was a mess! It started after breakfast and continued throughout the day. I think a lot of it was having to say good-bye to a lot of people I don't know if I will see again; however, it is deeper than just that, Lord. I just don't know how to describe it. All I know is thanks to friends telling me that everything was going to be alright - now I have peace. Thank you Lord for friends who care enough to encourage me. I am not used to that. I am usually the one encouraging others, so I am not used to the one being encouraged. Thank You.

What about you? Do you know someone who needs encouragement today? Do you encourage others on a regular basis? If not, why not? It's not hard. You can make someone feel better. Isn't that worth doing? Lord, help me to be an encouragement to someone today!

Or, is it you that needs to be encouraged? Do you have a problem that is getting you down. Hopefully, you have a friend who cares enough about you to encourage you. If not, you have access to the greatest fiend and the greatest encourager anyone could ever have, Jesus. He wants to encourage you today, but you have to listen for it. Lord, help me to hear the encouraging words that you have for me today. I don't know what I would do without You, Lord...thank You.

What a week!

June 27th, 2010 - Wow Lord, what a week! Where do I start? I haven't written anything since this whole thing started so I guess I need to go back a whole week!

I knew a couple of days before this whole thing started that something big was about to happen; but honestly, I did not expect this and definitely not this fast! This whole thing has definitely blown me away! Even in my last entry I wrote here, I knew something was going on. The reoccurring theme was just too much just to be coincidental. Thank You Lord that You are with me through all of this. I'm sorry Lord that even though I knew that this was from You, that I struggled with it the first couple of days - I really struggled, Lord. I cried and You heard me - and encouraged me - and quieted me down about this - I do love You, Lord and I do want to do what You want - but sometimes it is just so hard!

On Wednesday, when John came home and told me where our support account was at, I knew we were moving. I knew it in my head, but I didn't want to believe it in my heart. I still don't understand why You are taking us out of our present ministry - well, maybe I do, a bit - I think we were put in Saskatoon to pioneer this type of ministry there, which was very badly needed. Now, You are placing us in another pace to pioneer another type of ministry, which is very badly needed there. But, why us pioneering? This type of ministry is very hard and oftentimes very discouraging. I thank You that I have You, because if I didn't, I don't think I would be able to do these things. You are my comfort, my strength, m fortress, You make me soar on eages' wings.

So, I am doing something thought I would never do - moving back home - back to Campobello Island - back to North Road Baptist Church. Lord, will it be easy? No. Am I happy about it? Not really. Can I do it? Not on my own; but with You there with me, Yes. I know You have a lot of things to teach me. Help me not to forget You when I have tough situations there. Make me a better person because of this move, Lord. Please, don't let me lose who I am there. I have changed since leaving there - a lot - help the people there to accept that fact - but even if they don't, help me not to go back to the way I was. I want to still grow, Lord. Please help me!

I would like to thank You again, Lord. This time for the beauty of Your creation. Yesterday, as we were leaving Saskatoon, flying above the clouds...the clouds! I have never seen clouds like them before - beautiful! They were absolutely breathtaking! They looked like big cotton balls or cotton candy. The depth of them were astounding! You are an awesome God and Your creation is astounding! Thank You for letting me see just a glimpse of Your handiwork. Thank You for letting be be sensitive to the beauty. I love You, Lord!

June 21, 2010

Good morning, Lord. There are times when You speak to me many times a day, but there are other times when I can't seem to hear Your voice for several days. Why, Lord? Is it because I drift away even without meaning to? Lord, speak to me today. I'm sorry that I have drifted away away from You again, Lord. Please forgive me. I love You, Lord.

Today in one of my devotionals, I read the verse, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Do I really believe this, Lord? Do I really life my life in a way that people would see that I truly believe this verse? This theme seems to be a reoccurring one between You and I lately, Lord. I know that You don't always keep us from adversity, but You do give us the grace and strength to go through it. Please help me to remember this, Lord. No matter what I am going through, You give me the grace and strength to go through it. You even go through it with me, Lord. Thank You.

(I have the feeling that something big is going to happen, please help me through it whatever it is, Lord)

Lord, once again I want to thank You for your faithfulness to me...yesterday was a hard day for me, and You were there for me...Thank You! I knew this endeavour wasn't going to be easy (writing a devotional book) and I should have realized that Satan would try to discourage me, but I didn't think it would be this way. Of course, I should have since this is my weak spot right now. Thank You for whispering encouraging words in my ear both last night and today. Help me as I continue to do this the next few months...help me to remember that this is what You want me to do and that You will help me if I ask You to. I need Your strength to be able to do this, Lord.

Soar with God

June 13/10

Thank You, Lord. Tonight one of the Scripture passages to read in my devotional book was Isaiah 40:29-31. It says in the NIV, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."

You knew I needed that tonight! Like a baby bird learning to fly keeps falling and the mama bird dips down and rescues it, so we keep falling and You, our heavenly Father, stoops down and rescues us. There are some days when we can't "fly upward". That is when we need You to come down to pick us up and carry us, so we don't crash. Today, I needed that. I need You to come and pick me up and help me to soar again.

Thank You, God. You always know just what we need and You offer it to us. God, I am asking You to pick me up and carry me through tomorrow. Help me soar on Your wings. In Your Name I pray, Amen.

No matter what you are going through, you can soar on the wings of your heavenly Father. Ask Him to help you right now. He will.

Are you being a lamp?

June 10/10

Lord, what do You have for me today? I am excited to find the nugget of truth You have for me. Teach me, Lord.

Thank You, Father. You knew I needed confirmation from You about this, my latest endeavor, writing a devotional book.

It says in Matthew 5 that we are to be lights in a dark world. If each one of us do our part in being lights in our little corner of the world, wouldn't the world be a brighter place?

How can you be a light today? How can I? It might be something as simple as a smile - smile at someone who you pass on the street, talk to at the bank or serves you at a fast food restaurant. It might be the only smile they receive today. Whatever we can do to light up our little part of the world, shouldn't we do it? Not only today, but every day.

Light your lamp today. Ask God to show you how you are supposed to shine it. He will show you. Will you repond? Will you make a difference in your corner of the world today and shine in the midst of a dark world?

So God, thank You for confirming that You want me to write a devotional book. This is one way You want me to be a light. Help me to only put in this book what You want me to. Keep me humble, Lord. Help me to be a light for You.

How are you going to shine your light today?

June 9/10

God made this world so beautiful
The sky, the grass, the sea.
He did all of this because
He loves both you and me.

I wrote this little verse 27 years ago, but the truth will always be the same. A simple verse, but a profound truth! Thank You God for making this world such a beautiful place to live in. If this world is so beautiful, I can't imagine what Heaven is like.

Lord, I need help with something. i would really like to write a devotional book. Could you help me write a couple of devotionals to give to a few people to see what they think of them? Thank you.

I love You, Lord and I am ready to face whatever You have for me today.

I am glad I have You, Lord

Lord, thank You for today, even though it is raining again...it is a new day and I am alive! That is something to be thankful for...thank You God for life...my life...my family's lives...my friends lives..thank You...I love You, Lord!

I am so glad I have You in my life, Lord. Some days I don't know what I would do if I couldn't come to You. I thank You that You have made me into a stronger woman, because now I can ignore hurtful comments that come from some people. They don't hurt as much because I know that it doesn't really matter what people say, ultimately what matters is what You say to me and You say that You love me and I am a special person. You also had some hurtful things said about You so You understand (again). It's OK Lord, as long as I have You to lean on in all of my struggles...

June 6/10 - God morning, Lord! It's Sunday...Your day, as we call it. However, every day is Your day when we belong to You, right! We didn't go to church today Lord, but I am going to spend time with You, ALONE! I love You, Lord!

Lord, help me to see everyone through Your eyes, for if I see people through Your eyes, I will be able to love them the same way, through Your eyes. Lord, that's the way I want to see people - the way You see them - help me to ask when I come across people - whether they are easy to love or not - what You see when You look at that person - maybe that will change the way that I feel about that person and will help me to love that person more. I love You Lord, and You created every person as an unique individual, so why shouldn't I love them, LORD!

In "The Jesus I Never Knew" Yancey points out that You, Jesus, grew up in poverty (Page 59). Even though I knew that, it didn't hit me until today. Your family was poor. They couldn't afford the lamb for the sacrifice at the temple. I know what Hebrews 4:14-16 says: "Now that we know what we believe - Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God - let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experiencing it all - all but the sin. So, let's walk right up to Him and get what he is ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help" (The Message). So, Jesus can understand our situation, not being able to afford things we need. He has been there. He truly does understand. I "knew" that in my head, but today as I read that in Yancey's book, it was like a light went on in my head and I finally got it! Jesus was poor when he was here on earth...I am poor...what can I learn from from Jesus' life that will make a difference on my outlook on life and the way i live my life. Oh Lord, teach me, I pray. Cause me to be teachable. Thank You!

June 4/10 - Good morning, Lord! I am tired and I feel as blah as the weather looks today! Please help me get done today those things that need to get done. Thank You.

Lord, I thank You for Your faithfulness to me. I can always count on You. It feels good to know that You love me, no matter m mood. I love You to, Lord! Lord, I am relying on Your faithfulness to me today! Give me wisdom today, Lord. When others fail, You are there. Thank You for always being there for me and that I can always talk to You about anything, anytime and anywhere. You always hear me. Thank You.

Thank You Lord for music. I love listening to music about You, like I am doing right now. It always lifts my spirit. I love that I can worship You in my own home, by myself. I don't have to be at church to worship You. Hallelujah! Praise Your Holy Name!


Do you ever worship God on your own? You can, you know. It's a great feeling! I don't do it enough, but I love putting my music on, when I am home alone, singing with it, raising my voice and hands to God, sometimes swaying to the music. I love doing this, so I do it at home where I am comfortable doing it. I'm sure God likes it too. He loves it when we worship Him. He doesn't care care about what we sound like or how we do it, all He cares about is that we do it. Why not worship Him now? He'll love it and it will make you feel great!

My Decision

June 3/10 - Lord, I have decided something. I have decided to blog both the good and the bad in my life (as much as possible, that is). I hate being vulnerable, Lord; but I need to be. I am painting a one-sided picture of my life Lord, and that is not right. Help me with this Lord. As always, I need Your wisdom with what to share; however, I feel that the people who read m blog (if anyone does) will learn as much, if not more from the hard times I go through as from the good times. I love You, Lord. Help me be honest with myself, You and with others. Amen.

So, here it goes...I am going to share what I wrote on both May 31st and June 2nd.

May 31/10 - Lord, help me today! I'm tired, I'm sick, I hurt and I'm discouraged! I'm tired of being strong when I don't want to be. In one of my devotionals this morning, I read the verse... "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth...but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven" (Matthew 6:19). I know I am supposed to be content with what You have given me...I am very thankful for what I have...but sometimes it is very difficult to be content with what I have. I don't really want to complain, but sometimes our situation gets to me and I just want to scream. It's payday Lord, and you know we won't have to do everything we need to do...bills...food...gas...bus pass for Tyler...etc...These are all needs, Lord! We can't even do these things let alone go to the dentist, fill in the cold storage room...etc...these are needs too; they are not wants. I don't know what to do anymore, Lord. Help me! I feel as if I am drowning. I'm sorry Lord; this verse makes me feel guilty. I'm sorry I don't trust You more! Please forgive me, Lord. Give me wisdom to know what Yo want me to do. I do love You, Lord. Pick me up and carry me through this time, Lord. Amen.

June 2/10 - Thank You Lord for Your encouragement! I love You and the way You work. Only You could find my smile again with all that is going on in my life right now! I feel refreshed today. I feel as if I can go on, but only with You at the helm. Thank you for giving me ideas to make this home - more specifically my daughter's room - more efficient without spending any money. Thank you.

Lord, please help me find a job in data entry that I can do from home and please help the person who does our debt reduction to understand that we cannot give it all to her because we need to do things to this house.

Please Lord, help me be content with what I have and to be truly thankful when we can do something to the house or buy something we really need. Amen


Back to June 3rd...Lord, help this be a blessing to someone who reads this, I pray...thank you. Amen

I love being close to God...what I don't like is the way that Satan comes to discourage me when I am on a high in my spiritual life. I know it is because Satan wants me back...wants me to backslide and not live my life for God. However, I still don't like it...I know I am, at that point, supposed to go to God and ask Him to help me not to listen to Satan. Sometimes though, that is not an easy thing to do...of course Satan knows what buttons to push and what to say to get me to stay down...to feel sorry for myself. Eventually however, I come around and ask God for help and I actually listen to Him and get back on the right track.

God, I love You so much and I want to live my life the way You want me to...please help me not to listen to the subtle tactics of the devil...I recognize it when it comes....it's just that sometimes I get tired of the fight and want to take the easy way out. That is when I need Your reminder Lord, that it doesn't matter what he says, that he is a liar and that the only thing that matters is what You think...not what Satan thinks...not what other people think...only what You think matters. I am so glad that You don't give up on me, Lord...that You do remind me time and time again that You love me and that that is the only thing that really matters. Thank You, Lord for that...

This entry is going to be a little different...I wish to thank someone...my pastor. It has been almost two years now since an e-mail I sent to him and his response changed my life. It was a Friday in mid-June 2008...I was feeling really burnt out, so I sent an e-mail to my pastor to pray for me...what he sent me back changed the course of my life! In the e-mail he gave me a passage of Scripture for me to read Psalm 33...at that time I was reading my devotions in the Message Bible. So, that is what I read it in that night...I am so glad that I read it in that Bible...because it was the way that that translation put it that spoke to me...I have since read it in other versions and it didn't seem to stick out like it does in the Message. As I read that chapter, I began to cry...God broke me that night and that was a very good thing. I had become a very hard person, a very angry person...a person I didn't like, but didn't want to change because I thought that I deserved better...I had become selfish. However, that night was the beginning of a change in my life that hasn't stopped yet, and I hope it never does...I read that chapter, but I also read more...I went back and started near the to chapter 31 and stated near the end of that chapter and went all the way through to the end of chapter 34. What I want to say to my pastor is thank-you! Thank you for praying for me that day, but also thank you for obeying God and sending me that passage of Scripture. That is not the only time I have read that...I have read it many times since then...for a while I read it every day...what I want to say is that today I am closer to God than I have been in many years and God used you to start that process. Thank you. If that passage had not have broken me that night, I don't want to think about where I would have been right now, so thank you.

May 24, 2010

Good morning, Lord. It is my goal today to spend at least one hour with You. It won't be easy Lord, because my family is home today. Nonetheless, I need this time with You! Please help me follow through on this. I love You, Lord.

Psalm 16 says that "without You, nothing makes sense" (Message). That is so true, Lord. Help me to remember that. Help me to rely on You to make sense of my life. I am not truly happy when I am not spending time with You. You are the One who makes my life worth living.

The chapter goes on to say, "My choice is You, God, first and only. And now I find I'm your choice..." I have always been Your choice, Lord. I know that; however, You haven't always been my choice. I try to do things on my own. Help me not to lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5,6). You are my choice, God. I want You to control my life. You have thrown me a lifeline, God. I've caught it and I am not letting go. I give You control of my life, Lord, the whole thing. You are in the driver's seat of my life. Help me not to be a back seat driver, Lord. Help me to follow You, without question, wherever You wish to take me. Thank You, Lord. I love You! Take me by the hand and lead me on the path of life You wish to take me and help me not to let go and take a bunny trail. I give myself wholly and completely to You.

Lord, You haven given me the gift of encouragement. Help me not to neglect it, Lord. Help me use the gift for You. Help me to encourage others for the right reasons, for the right motive. Help me not to do it with selfish motives, Lord. Keep me humble - I don't want to do it for the glory it gives me. I want to do it both for Your glory and the happiness it causes those whom I encourage.

Lord, I thank You for making each one of us unique. I love both of my children, Lord; but they are so different from each other. I thank You for that. (The rest of this paragraph I am not going to put on my blog because it is specific things about my kids.)

As long as they do their best, I'm happy. Do with them what You want. My prayer for them is that they let You use them in whatever it is You want them to be and do - wherever You want them. I am proud of both of them , Lord. Help them to know that Lord.

I love You, Lord. Good-night.

May 7, 2010

Good morning, my Lord. What a beautiful day! It is beautiful because it is sunny outside, yes; but it is more than that. What makes a person feel beautiful, Lord? And way don't we feel beautiful ever day? We should, shouldn't we? Yes, we should. In today's devotional, June Masters Bacher talks about an experiment her and her friend did when they were young. They were trying to figure out why some days were 'beautiful days' - days n which they felt like they could do anything, because they felt good. Was it because of some external thing, like what they wore on that particular day or that their hair looked great - No, they decided that those things were different on each of those 'beautiful days'. So, what was it? They decided that it was how they felt inside on those days that brought them confidence. So, why don't we feel that way every day? The answer is simple: we let circumstances dictate how we feel on the inside and that determines our level of confidence. On a day where we bring a smile to someone's face, we may feel on top of the world. We "feel beautiful". On a day where everything seems to go wrong, we don't feel beautiful. So, what can we do to change that? The key I believe is whether we feel loved or not. If I feel loved, I feel good about myself and feel beautiful. If I don't feel love, then I don't feel good about myself and therefore feel miserable, not beautiful. However, we should feel loved every day Lord, because You love for us never changes.You love us the same every day! Help me to remember that, Lord! Help me to remember that no matter what happens externally, I can still feel beautiful because You love me. Help me to have a beautiful day today, Lord. You love me and that should be enough for me to feel good about myself because the Creator of the universe loves me! Me..You love me! Thank you, Lord for Your love. I is amazing to me God that You love me...but then You created me. Thank You, God!

I didn't read a lot today Lord. Thank you for helping me accomplish lots today. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to spend more time with You. I know You are always with me, so in a way, I do spend all of my time with You. Help me to make the most of that time, Lord. I love You. Good-night.

May 6,2010...Good morning, Lord! Thank You for this day, "I will rejoice and be glad in it." The devotional book I read out of first each morning is called "The Quiet Heart". My prayer today is that I would have a quiet heart before You, so that I will be able to hear what You want to say to me. Quiet my thoughts so that there will be no distractions. I want to hear Your voice today, Lord.

Well, that was an interesting word this morning. Time - what do I do with my time? Am I a hoarder or a spender of it? Am I always trying to find ways to save time or do I spend every minute that You have given me doing what You want me to do? I like what the old piano teacher said when asked how she does so much. She said,"Well, you see, most folks worry about saving time. I figure the Good Lord gave me so much time on earth and meant that I should spend it - not hoard it up." I like that. As Ephesians 4:16 says, "Making the most of your time - buying up each opportunity - because the days are evil" (Amplified). Lord, help me to use my day today wisely, even if it is just little things like smiling to someone as you walk by them on the street. One thing I need to do is to finish the cross stitch for Anne by Sunday; help me Lord to make that a priority.

Lord, help me to act in love and kindness towards those I come in contact with today - especially my family.

Help me to be at peace with where You have put me and what You have given me. Sometimes this is hard for me - to be at peace - to be contented with what I have, with what You have given me. I want to know contentment like Paul did when he wrote in Philippians 4:11-13 (I like the Amplified version here, how it gives meaning to these verses). "Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted)in whatever state I am. I know how to be abased and live humbly in straightened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and every circumstance the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and to spare or going without and being in want. I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me - I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me (that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)." WOW! I know that this is not going to be easy Lord; and yes, I know I will fail, but I want to learn this quality. Sometimes I do find it easy to trust You in this; but sometimes I must confess that sometimes I fail miserably at it too. Please help me to become self-sufficient in Your sufficiency, because Lord, I know that that is the only way to really live. I love you, Lord. Help me to trust You today and to be at peace with everything You give me today.

It is neat how my evening devotional book complements my morning ones. You want to become a person others want to be around - become more like You, Jesus. To become more like you, Lord - spend time in Your Word. Don't keep what you learn to yourself either, share it. Then your "fragrance" will spread to others. What is y fragrance, Lord? Am I like the sweet smelling flower that others want to have around or am I more like the smell of a dirty diaper that people want to get rid of or pass off to someone else? Lord, I want to be a sweet smelling rose to others - the only way that is possible is to become more like You - the only way to become more lie You is to spend time with You each day. Lord, please change me each day as I spend time with You. Lord, please help me to make it a priority to spend time with You each and every day. Lord, I want You to become my best friend, but I also want to become more lie You too.

Already I feel like I am learning about who You are, Jesus. Just from the first chapter and a bit of Yancey's book, I am getting a new perspective. We don't often think about the hard times Mary and Joseph would have faced because Mary was pregnant before they were married. However, that is a real part of the story surrounding Your birth. Lord, help me never to trivialize the things that led up to our birth. Yes, our birth was a beautiful thing and it should be celebrated, but help me to remember that it wasn't an easy thing. Help me to see the whole story, not just the 'glamorous'
parts we celebrate at Christmastime.

I love You, Lord. Thank You for the insight You have given me these last couple of days. Good-night, Lord1

This one is actually from yesterday, May 5,2010...I am writing them out now, and typing them on here when I get the chance...hopefully, this will mean more consistency...Actually these next two at least will be my prayers to God for yesterday and today...I am starting to write my prayers out again...I have done this a few times in my walk with God and I find that this helps me in many ways...also, when I look back years later and read through them again, it encourages me to keep going...so with that here is my prayer yesterday...

I am about to read Your Word for me today. Teach me, Lord. I want to be like Mary of Bethany, sitting at Your feet listening for Your words to me. I love You, Lord. Amen.

Thank You, Lord for Your little tidbits of encouragement already this morning. In my first devotional, I learned to be grateful no matter what. When you don't know how to meet the day or how you are going to get everything done, do it gratefully. Attitudes are contagious. If we as women set the mood as a good one, others will catch it too. Thank you Lord for the woman from the Bridge (the ministry we do our drop-in from)who stopped me yesterday on the street and said that I was an encouragement to her because I was always happy and cheerful. Help me to be that way in the home too,not just 'outside'.

In my second devotional, I learned that little deeds of kindness can do a lot to cheer up someone's day. Also, "showing kindness to others is one of the nicest things we can do for ourselves"(The Father Who Calls, Janette Oke, page 33).Ephesians 4:32. Help me to be kind to anyone I come in contact with today. Even some small thing can change two lives - theirs and mine.

Also, help this cross stitch that I am doing for Anne Toews to be one of those little kindnesses for her.

Another thing You reminded me of this morning is that just because a person may be alone, does not mean they have to be lonely. We can hear Your voice better when we are alone. Matthew 14:23 - Jesus went ALONE up to a mountain to pray. Help me today as I am home alone to seek Your company You are the best friend anyone could ask for. Thank You!

Lord, I am excited to read Yancey's book, "The Jesus I Never Knew". I hope to learn some of who You are and how You want me to relate to You. Please teach me some truths about You, so I can become closer to You because I want to know You more. I want to know You so I can become more like You. Please help me to be teachable and pliable like potter's clay so You cam mold and make me into the kind of woman You want me to be.

Lord, help me to acknowledge You in all my ways like Proverbs 3:6 tells me to do. Help me to put You first in my life every day. If I do this, you have promised to direct my paths. Not just the big ones - but the small every day ones as well. That is what I need, Lord. I need You directing my every step. No matter how small it may seem to me, if You are directing them I will do what You want me to do. hank You, lord for loving and caring for every little detail - big or small - of my life.

Be with Tyler and the missions team tonight. Thank You Lord that they obeyed Your voice and went to Trinidad/Tobago. Use them Lord in the way You want. Change their lives through this experience.

I love You, Lord! Good-night!

April 11, 2010

I thank God for the house He has provided us to live in. It is nice to have a place to call our own and it makes me feel secure.

I thank God for the stars He has placed in the heavens at night. I love looking at them through my bedroom window. It is just one part of God's handiwork that I love to look at. It makes me feel loved and special that He created something so beautiful for me to look at.

I thank God for John, my husband. Thank you that he has a love for the troubled youth of this city (Saskatoon). It makes me feel proud that he loves these kids and desires for them to know You.

Creating a gratitude journal

Unlike my last post this one will be long...so long it may take to posts to get it all in. We'll see...
Yesterday on Facebook, one of my friends posted something that peeked my interest, so I went into it to see what it was all about and this is what I found: "How to Start a Gratitude Journal". Here is the web address to see what it is all about:
http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Gratitude-Journal. I love this idea - however, I am going to take it a step further they they do...The premise is that you have to write about things you are thankful for. I am going to thank God for these things...

Here is what I am hoping that it will do for me...I am hoping that it will cause me to become a more thankful person, a more positive person and that being thankful will become the norm for me...and also that if I get down, I read this journal and it will bring me back up...

There are certain criteria for doing this and if you don't want to go to the website to find out what they are, I will tell you here.

1. Each day write down a certain number of things you are thankful to God for...I am going to try to do 3 a day...Avoid saying the same things over and over...this will make it challenging down the road, coming up with new things every day...this is a good thing however, because it will make you think of things to than k God for that may never of thought of before...This will cause your awareness of being thankful to God to grow...many people start off by thanking God for the material things they have in their lives...it is an easy place to start...that's good but you also have to say why you are thankful for that perticular thing or person and how it or they make you feel...(example...I am thankful to God for my house. It warms my body and protects me. It gives me a sense of relief knowing that there is always a comforting place to come back to).

2. Write about extended things in your life. These will vary from person to person because everyone likes different things...(example...If you paint, you may be thankful for the paints that you have).

3. Describe how you are thankful for yourself...this may be hard at first, especially if you have low self esteem like I used to...Start by being thankful for being alive, then thank God for the body He gave you even if you don't like some things about it...This will eventually help you to have a better picture of yourself and it will help you to have a better, positive attitude about yourself.

4. Avoid being thankful for something because it is better than what someone else has...instead be thankful because you have it...

5. Think about your abilities...You may want to be thankful for things like the ability to see or hear, but then go deeper...be thankful for the things that are unique to you...things like playing an instrument or sing or write or being good at crafts or being a good friend...or being an encourager...

6. What about the people in your life...are you thankful for them...your family, friends, co-workers, boss, neighbours...you can even include your pets here...tell why you are thankful for each person and how they make you feel...you can even write about people you have problems with...thank God for these people and find something about them that you are thankful for...find the good in them...this will help your relatrionships with people become better and stonger...there is good in everyone, so look for it and be thankful for it...

I am hoping that this will make me a more uplifting person and that people will see a difference in me because of it...and if they don't, oh well..all that matters is that God sees the difference and that I will become a stronger person through it.

I hope you take this challenge...I have...I started last night...in my next blog I will list the things I put last night...

Start thanking God right now for what He has given you...if you think about it, He has given us a lot to be thankful about...so why not thank Him...if someone gives you a gift you thank them...think about all the wonderful things God has given you and thank Him for them...one by one...it might take you the rest of your life to thank Him for everything, but that's OK...it's a good thing to do...

Thank you, God

This one will be short..it is midnight and I am exhausted...so short is good.

Just wanted to make a comment really. I don't know how non-Christians make it through life without God. There is a lot going on in our lives right now and if I didn't have God to help me through, I think I would go crazy... so, I want to thank God.

Thank You God! I love you!

Wow, two posts in one weeks time! This one won't be long, but I wanted to do it before I forgot it.I wanted to post this before the end of February, because it happened on the 26th; but time did not allow. So, I am doing it on the 1st of March.

God spoke to me again out of Daniel 6. This one about something that is near and dear to my heart - prayer. I have a legacy of prayer warriors in my family and I would love to be like them. Prayer is so important in a Christian's life and yet how often do we pray. It says that Daniel prayed three times every day! No matter what happened he prayed three times every day! Daniel was faithful in prayer as well. Did he know what would happen to him if he prayed to God. Yes, he knew and he prayed anyway! He knew he would be thrown into the lion's den, but did that stop him? NO! How did he pray. Did he hide so no one could see him? NO. He prayed on his knees, with his window open facing Jerusalem. And he thanks God. He didn't complain about his circumstances. He thanks God. Wow! What a testimony.

Do we pray every day? I know I don't; even though I know how important it is to do.
I let things get in my way of spending that precious time with God. I put it off, saying that I will do it later. Oh, if something specific comes up, I pray about it; but how must that look to God! Do I thank God for putting me in difficult circumstances or do I whine and complain about them? We are supposed to thank God for everything; whether good or bad.

When I do pray, I love it! I love pouring my heart out to God. So, why don't I do it more? I let things come before God and that's not good. I am going to try to pray every day. Will I fail? Again, yes. However, it is one of the most important things for a Christian to do. I challenge you to try it too. It will be a life changing experience, I'm sure.

I guess it's been about a month since I've posted something on here, but that doesn't mean God has stopped teaching me things. Sometimes I don't write because I am so overwhelmed with everything He says to me that I don't know what to write. I wonder if pastors ever feel like that as they are preparing sermons?

Anyway, this morning I am reading Daniel 6 (yes, I am only on chapter 6), when God hit me up the side of the head with the first 5 verses. Just on a side note, how many of you were taught in Sunday School that Daniel was at least 80 years old when he was thrown into the lions den? I always thought that this story happens when he was a young man. There's my little bunny trail this time (hopefully it's the only one).

Let's look at Daniel here. I always knew that he was an honest and faithful man; but it didn't hit me like it did this morning. Again, I am quoting from the book "You Are A Brave Man, Daniel" by Kay Arthur and Janna Arndt. "Daniel has integrity. He is honest, trustworthy, and sincere. He does the right thing, even when no one is looking.

Now take a moment to ask yourself, "Is there anything in my life that I have done where someone could say something bad about me?" (pg 114) They didn't find anything in Daniel's life.

Daniel also did what was required of him. He was faithful in his job (which wasn't easy, since he was a government official). This is where the rubber met the road for me this morning. How do I do my work? Am I careful in it? Now I do not work outside of the home, so my work is taking care of the house and family. I hate housework! I have never been an immaculate housekeeper (like my mom); but most of the time, I don't do my best in it either. So, am I being faithful in what God has entrusted me with. No (at least not with this part of it). Can I do better? Yes.
Will my house be immaculate? Probably not, but as long as I am faithful in doing my best, it's OK.

I am reminded of a couple of verses in Colossians which says: "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." (3:17, KJV)and "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; (3:23, KJV) I had the second one up in my kitchen when we lived in Caronport. Under the verse, I wrote in brackets, (even housework). Maybe it's time I hung that verse up again!

So, I guess I had better get off of here and go do my best for God today in what He has entrusted me with: my family and my house.

I've been slowly working my way through studying the book of Daniel this month (I say slowly because I just finished chapter 3 this morning!). God has been speaking to me through it - this morning He got my attention twice, so I am going to attept to put what He said to me down here.

Chapter 3 is the story about Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego and the fiery furnace. A very familiar story right? And yet God spoke through it twice to me today! (A side note here - a bunny trail if you will - Do we oftentimes miss what God wants to say to us because we think we know the story inside and out because it is so familiar? I challenge you [and myself] this year to read the Bible with fresh eyes, like we have never read it before and see what God will will teach us). Back to today, the first time God spoke to me this morning was through verses 17-18, which say, "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of the blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O King. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O King, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." (NASB) Wow!! What confidence!

Do we really believe this like those three teenagers did? Oh, sure we say we believe it, but do we really? One of the books I am going through while studying Daniel is one that I used with my son when I was home-schooling him in grade 7. It's called, "Youre A Brave Man, Daniel" and is written by Kay Arthur and Janna Arndt. They say it like this: "God is able to deliver us from hard times, from sickness, and from death, but sometimes God chooses to let us go through these things to fulfill His purpose for our lives and to make us more like Jesus. Have you ever known someone who had cancer but was healed? How about someone else who had cancer and died? Sometimes God delivers us from the fire, sometimes He brings us through the fire and then sometimes He delivers us into heaven. God is God, and He chooses the outcome.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego trust God, even if it means they will go into the blazing fire, even if they die. They choose whom they will worship. They counted the cost of belonging to God. They chose to serve Him no matter the cost.

Look at their words: 'Let it be known'. They are saying "This is what we believe. These are our covictions. We have made up our minds. We will not change our beliefs. We will not conform. We will not do what everybody else is doing. We will not bend the knee. We will do what God says is right" (pp. 64-65).

What about us? Have we "made up our minds" to obey God no matter what. This is the second time that someone in the book of Daniel "made up their mind" to do what God wanted and both times they were blessed because of it.

Are we willing to live our lives for God and not for other people or even ourselves?

The second thing that God spoke to me about is in verses 24-25. It says, "Then Nebuchadnezzar the king was astounded and stood up in haste; he said to his high officials, 'Was it not three men we cast bound into the midst of the fire?' They replied to the king, 'Certainly, O king.' He said, 'Look! I see four men loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire without harm, and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.'"(NASB) We must remember that God (Jesus) is with us through everything we go through, good and bad. He understands what we are going through and He is there to guide us through it, no matter the outcome.

One more observation from verses 28-30, "Nebuchadnezzar responded and said, 'Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, who has sent his angel and delivered His servants who put their trust in Him, violating the king's command, and yeilded up their bodies so as not to serve or worship any god except their own God. Therefore I make a decree that any people, nation or tongue that speaks anything offensive against the God of Meshach, Shadrach and Abed-nego shall be torn limb from limb and their houses reduced to a rubbish heap, inasmuch as there is no other god who is able to deliver in this way.' Then the king caused Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego to prosper in the province of Babylon." (NASB)

God honored their faith. Nebuchadnezzar realized that there is no God like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego's God. Also, they prospered in the province of Babylon. "When you go through the fire and God purifies you to become more like Jesus, then He can use you in ways you never dreamed possible" (Kay Arthur and Janna Arndt, pg. 71).

So, what about it? Are we going to be like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego and stand up for our God and do what He wants us to do or are we going to just go along with the crowd and do what they do?

The saying is "Dare to be a Daniel"; I think it should be "Dare to be a Daniel, a Shadrach, a Meshach and an Abed-nego." Will you take the dare? Will I?

A New Year

I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since I have posted something!! Shame on me! It's not because I haven't been learning things from God, because I have. I also can't believe that it's been a year (tomorrow) since my New Year's Resolution blog...but it has! Did I keep my resolution from last year? Yes and No. Let me explain. You might remember I said I usually don't make New Year's resolutions because of the failure rate of them, but I was going to change the kind of resolution I would make (except for reading my Bible through in a year, which I completed on Christmas day). Last year I made the resolution to become the woman God wanted me to be. I noted that I would fail, but that was alright as long as I started again...I did fail...many, many times; but unlike other times I would admit my failure and begin again (often the same day). So, did I fail? Sure; but did I succeed also? Definately! Am I a better woman today than I was a year ago? I think I am, although some people may disagree with me. Did I learn from God...yes, over and over again! So, am I going to continue my resolution this year? Yes I am!
I hope this time next year I can sit down and say that I am closer to becoming the woman God wants me to be than I am right now! I have learned to love God deeper this year and in the process have learned to love others and my life more. However, God is not finished with me yet! I just hope that I am always willing to learn.

My Bible reading this year is taking a different approach. I am going to read the New Testament through as many times as I can and study a different book of the Bible each month. I think I am going to start with studying the book of Daniel in January.
I am also going to try to write at least twice a month, so keep coming back to see what God is teaching me!