June 3/10 - Lord, I have decided something. I have decided to blog both the good and the bad in my life (as much as possible, that is). I hate being vulnerable, Lord; but I need to be. I am painting a one-sided picture of my life Lord, and that is not right. Help me with this Lord. As always, I need Your wisdom with what to share; however, I feel that the people who read m blog (if anyone does) will learn as much, if not more from the hard times I go through as from the good times. I love You, Lord. Help me be honest with myself, You and with others. Amen.
So, here it goes...I am going to share what I wrote on both May 31st and June 2nd.
May 31/10 - Lord, help me today! I'm tired, I'm sick, I hurt and I'm discouraged! I'm tired of being strong when I don't want to be. In one of my devotionals this morning, I read the verse... "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth...but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven" (Matthew 6:19). I know I am supposed to be content with what You have given me...I am very thankful for what I have...but sometimes it is very difficult to be content with what I have. I don't really want to complain, but sometimes our situation gets to me and I just want to scream. It's payday Lord, and you know we won't have to do everything we need to do...bills...food...gas...bus pass for Tyler...etc...These are all needs, Lord! We can't even do these things let alone go to the dentist, fill in the cold storage room...etc...these are needs too; they are not wants. I don't know what to do anymore, Lord. Help me! I feel as if I am drowning. I'm sorry Lord; this verse makes me feel guilty. I'm sorry I don't trust You more! Please forgive me, Lord. Give me wisdom to know what Yo want me to do. I do love You, Lord. Pick me up and carry me through this time, Lord. Amen.
June 2/10 - Thank You Lord for Your encouragement! I love You and the way You work. Only You could find my smile again with all that is going on in my life right now! I feel refreshed today. I feel as if I can go on, but only with You at the helm. Thank you for giving me ideas to make this home - more specifically my daughter's room - more efficient without spending any money. Thank you.
Lord, please help me find a job in data entry that I can do from home and please help the person who does our debt reduction to understand that we cannot give it all to her because we need to do things to this house.
Please Lord, help me be content with what I have and to be truly thankful when we can do something to the house or buy something we really need. Amen
Back to June 3rd...Lord, help this be a blessing to someone who reads this, I pray...thank you. Amen
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