I love being close to God...what I don't like is the way that Satan comes to discourage me when I am on a high in my spiritual life. I know it is because Satan wants me back...wants me to backslide and not live my life for God. However, I still don't like it...I know I am, at that point, supposed to go to God and ask Him to help me not to listen to Satan. Sometimes though, that is not an easy thing to do...of course Satan knows what buttons to push and what to say to get me to stay down...to feel sorry for myself. Eventually however, I come around and ask God for help and I actually listen to Him and get back on the right track.

God, I love You so much and I want to live my life the way You want me to...please help me not to listen to the subtle tactics of the devil...I recognize it when it comes....it's just that sometimes I get tired of the fight and want to take the easy way out. That is when I need Your reminder Lord, that it doesn't matter what he says, that he is a liar and that the only thing that matters is what You think...not what Satan thinks...not what other people think...only what You think matters. I am so glad that You don't give up on me, Lord...that You do remind me time and time again that You love me and that that is the only thing that really matters. Thank You, Lord for that...

This entry is going to be a little different...I wish to thank someone...my pastor. It has been almost two years now since an e-mail I sent to him and his response changed my life. It was a Friday in mid-June 2008...I was feeling really burnt out, so I sent an e-mail to my pastor to pray for me...what he sent me back changed the course of my life! In the e-mail he gave me a passage of Scripture for me to read Psalm 33...at that time I was reading my devotions in the Message Bible. So, that is what I read it in that night...I am so glad that I read it in that Bible...because it was the way that that translation put it that spoke to me...I have since read it in other versions and it didn't seem to stick out like it does in the Message. As I read that chapter, I began to cry...God broke me that night and that was a very good thing. I had become a very hard person, a very angry person...a person I didn't like, but didn't want to change because I thought that I deserved better...I had become selfish. However, that night was the beginning of a change in my life that hasn't stopped yet, and I hope it never does...I read that chapter, but I also read more...I went back and started near the to chapter 31 and stated near the end of that chapter and went all the way through to the end of chapter 34. What I want to say to my pastor is thank-you! Thank you for praying for me that day, but also thank you for obeying God and sending me that passage of Scripture. That is not the only time I have read that...I have read it many times since then...for a while I read it every day...what I want to say is that today I am closer to God than I have been in many years and God used you to start that process. Thank you. If that passage had not have broken me that night, I don't want to think about where I would have been right now, so thank you.

May 24, 2010

Good morning, Lord. It is my goal today to spend at least one hour with You. It won't be easy Lord, because my family is home today. Nonetheless, I need this time with You! Please help me follow through on this. I love You, Lord.

Psalm 16 says that "without You, nothing makes sense" (Message). That is so true, Lord. Help me to remember that. Help me to rely on You to make sense of my life. I am not truly happy when I am not spending time with You. You are the One who makes my life worth living.

The chapter goes on to say, "My choice is You, God, first and only. And now I find I'm your choice..." I have always been Your choice, Lord. I know that; however, You haven't always been my choice. I try to do things on my own. Help me not to lean on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5,6). You are my choice, God. I want You to control my life. You have thrown me a lifeline, God. I've caught it and I am not letting go. I give You control of my life, Lord, the whole thing. You are in the driver's seat of my life. Help me not to be a back seat driver, Lord. Help me to follow You, without question, wherever You wish to take me. Thank You, Lord. I love You! Take me by the hand and lead me on the path of life You wish to take me and help me not to let go and take a bunny trail. I give myself wholly and completely to You.

Lord, You haven given me the gift of encouragement. Help me not to neglect it, Lord. Help me use the gift for You. Help me to encourage others for the right reasons, for the right motive. Help me not to do it with selfish motives, Lord. Keep me humble - I don't want to do it for the glory it gives me. I want to do it both for Your glory and the happiness it causes those whom I encourage.

Lord, I thank You for making each one of us unique. I love both of my children, Lord; but they are so different from each other. I thank You for that. (The rest of this paragraph I am not going to put on my blog because it is specific things about my kids.)

As long as they do their best, I'm happy. Do with them what You want. My prayer for them is that they let You use them in whatever it is You want them to be and do - wherever You want them. I am proud of both of them , Lord. Help them to know that Lord.

I love You, Lord. Good-night.

May 7, 2010

Good morning, my Lord. What a beautiful day! It is beautiful because it is sunny outside, yes; but it is more than that. What makes a person feel beautiful, Lord? And way don't we feel beautiful ever day? We should, shouldn't we? Yes, we should. In today's devotional, June Masters Bacher talks about an experiment her and her friend did when they were young. They were trying to figure out why some days were 'beautiful days' - days n which they felt like they could do anything, because they felt good. Was it because of some external thing, like what they wore on that particular day or that their hair looked great - No, they decided that those things were different on each of those 'beautiful days'. So, what was it? They decided that it was how they felt inside on those days that brought them confidence. So, why don't we feel that way every day? The answer is simple: we let circumstances dictate how we feel on the inside and that determines our level of confidence. On a day where we bring a smile to someone's face, we may feel on top of the world. We "feel beautiful". On a day where everything seems to go wrong, we don't feel beautiful. So, what can we do to change that? The key I believe is whether we feel loved or not. If I feel loved, I feel good about myself and feel beautiful. If I don't feel love, then I don't feel good about myself and therefore feel miserable, not beautiful. However, we should feel loved every day Lord, because You love for us never changes.You love us the same every day! Help me to remember that, Lord! Help me to remember that no matter what happens externally, I can still feel beautiful because You love me. Help me to have a beautiful day today, Lord. You love me and that should be enough for me to feel good about myself because the Creator of the universe loves me! Me..You love me! Thank you, Lord for Your love. I is amazing to me God that You love me...but then You created me. Thank You, God!

I didn't read a lot today Lord. Thank you for helping me accomplish lots today. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to spend more time with You. I know You are always with me, so in a way, I do spend all of my time with You. Help me to make the most of that time, Lord. I love You. Good-night.

May 6,2010...Good morning, Lord! Thank You for this day, "I will rejoice and be glad in it." The devotional book I read out of first each morning is called "The Quiet Heart". My prayer today is that I would have a quiet heart before You, so that I will be able to hear what You want to say to me. Quiet my thoughts so that there will be no distractions. I want to hear Your voice today, Lord.

Well, that was an interesting word this morning. Time - what do I do with my time? Am I a hoarder or a spender of it? Am I always trying to find ways to save time or do I spend every minute that You have given me doing what You want me to do? I like what the old piano teacher said when asked how she does so much. She said,"Well, you see, most folks worry about saving time. I figure the Good Lord gave me so much time on earth and meant that I should spend it - not hoard it up." I like that. As Ephesians 4:16 says, "Making the most of your time - buying up each opportunity - because the days are evil" (Amplified). Lord, help me to use my day today wisely, even if it is just little things like smiling to someone as you walk by them on the street. One thing I need to do is to finish the cross stitch for Anne by Sunday; help me Lord to make that a priority.

Lord, help me to act in love and kindness towards those I come in contact with today - especially my family.

Help me to be at peace with where You have put me and what You have given me. Sometimes this is hard for me - to be at peace - to be contented with what I have, with what You have given me. I want to know contentment like Paul did when he wrote in Philippians 4:11-13 (I like the Amplified version here, how it gives meaning to these verses). "Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted)in whatever state I am. I know how to be abased and live humbly in straightened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and every circumstance the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and to spare or going without and being in want. I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me - I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me (that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)." WOW! I know that this is not going to be easy Lord; and yes, I know I will fail, but I want to learn this quality. Sometimes I do find it easy to trust You in this; but sometimes I must confess that sometimes I fail miserably at it too. Please help me to become self-sufficient in Your sufficiency, because Lord, I know that that is the only way to really live. I love you, Lord. Help me to trust You today and to be at peace with everything You give me today.

It is neat how my evening devotional book complements my morning ones. You want to become a person others want to be around - become more like You, Jesus. To become more like you, Lord - spend time in Your Word. Don't keep what you learn to yourself either, share it. Then your "fragrance" will spread to others. What is y fragrance, Lord? Am I like the sweet smelling flower that others want to have around or am I more like the smell of a dirty diaper that people want to get rid of or pass off to someone else? Lord, I want to be a sweet smelling rose to others - the only way that is possible is to become more like You - the only way to become more lie You is to spend time with You each day. Lord, please change me each day as I spend time with You. Lord, please help me to make it a priority to spend time with You each and every day. Lord, I want You to become my best friend, but I also want to become more lie You too.

Already I feel like I am learning about who You are, Jesus. Just from the first chapter and a bit of Yancey's book, I am getting a new perspective. We don't often think about the hard times Mary and Joseph would have faced because Mary was pregnant before they were married. However, that is a real part of the story surrounding Your birth. Lord, help me never to trivialize the things that led up to our birth. Yes, our birth was a beautiful thing and it should be celebrated, but help me to remember that it wasn't an easy thing. Help me to see the whole story, not just the 'glamorous'
parts we celebrate at Christmastime.

I love You, Lord. Thank You for the insight You have given me these last couple of days. Good-night, Lord1

This one is actually from yesterday, May 5,2010...I am writing them out now, and typing them on here when I get the chance...hopefully, this will mean more consistency...Actually these next two at least will be my prayers to God for yesterday and today...I am starting to write my prayers out again...I have done this a few times in my walk with God and I find that this helps me in many ways...also, when I look back years later and read through them again, it encourages me to keep going...so with that here is my prayer yesterday...

I am about to read Your Word for me today. Teach me, Lord. I want to be like Mary of Bethany, sitting at Your feet listening for Your words to me. I love You, Lord. Amen.

Thank You, Lord for Your little tidbits of encouragement already this morning. In my first devotional, I learned to be grateful no matter what. When you don't know how to meet the day or how you are going to get everything done, do it gratefully. Attitudes are contagious. If we as women set the mood as a good one, others will catch it too. Thank you Lord for the woman from the Bridge (the ministry we do our drop-in from)who stopped me yesterday on the street and said that I was an encouragement to her because I was always happy and cheerful. Help me to be that way in the home too,not just 'outside'.

In my second devotional, I learned that little deeds of kindness can do a lot to cheer up someone's day. Also, "showing kindness to others is one of the nicest things we can do for ourselves"(The Father Who Calls, Janette Oke, page 33).Ephesians 4:32. Help me to be kind to anyone I come in contact with today. Even some small thing can change two lives - theirs and mine.

Also, help this cross stitch that I am doing for Anne Toews to be one of those little kindnesses for her.

Another thing You reminded me of this morning is that just because a person may be alone, does not mean they have to be lonely. We can hear Your voice better when we are alone. Matthew 14:23 - Jesus went ALONE up to a mountain to pray. Help me today as I am home alone to seek Your company You are the best friend anyone could ask for. Thank You!

Lord, I am excited to read Yancey's book, "The Jesus I Never Knew". I hope to learn some of who You are and how You want me to relate to You. Please teach me some truths about You, so I can become closer to You because I want to know You more. I want to know You so I can become more like You. Please help me to be teachable and pliable like potter's clay so You cam mold and make me into the kind of woman You want me to be.

Lord, help me to acknowledge You in all my ways like Proverbs 3:6 tells me to do. Help me to put You first in my life every day. If I do this, you have promised to direct my paths. Not just the big ones - but the small every day ones as well. That is what I need, Lord. I need You directing my every step. No matter how small it may seem to me, if You are directing them I will do what You want me to do. hank You, lord for loving and caring for every little detail - big or small - of my life.

Be with Tyler and the missions team tonight. Thank You Lord that they obeyed Your voice and went to Trinidad/Tobago. Use them Lord in the way You want. Change their lives through this experience.

I love You, Lord! Good-night!